i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
