We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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