You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
