I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
