Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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