what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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