ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
