Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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