Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
