shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
