I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
