**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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