I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
These tits shall not be calmed
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
