She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
