Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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