Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
this just has baby written all over it
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She bit a glass in half.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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