We named our party play list daddy issues
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize