I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
