I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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