do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
