alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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