did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
"it" just moved
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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