I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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