There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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