Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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