it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
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i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
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And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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