Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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