I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
