dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
