So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize