hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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