grandma shit on top of the toilet
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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