I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
