: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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