omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
