Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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