mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
