Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
