i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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