shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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