I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
