I can't breathe out the right side of my face
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
