Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
