She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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