Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
