Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
