this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
