they need to just BURY HIM!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
