so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
