Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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