so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
