That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
