Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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