the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
