I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
