guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
