Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
