think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
