if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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