I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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