Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
