If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
