Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
