lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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