all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
